Busted

James L. McClinton, Ph.D This qualifies them to be nominated for “Redneck of the Year” by the Rednecks of America… In Florida, a 32-year-old male and 20-year-old female were arrested after they were caught (allegedly) selling drugs out of a drive-thru window they constructed out of the side of their mobile home. Investigators raided their residence following reports of heroin sales in the area. The couple had turned a kitchen window into a drive-thru so customers would not have to…

James L. McClinton, Ph.D. Without stupidity, there is no intelligence… When the owner of a hardwood floors business in Grand Rapids, Michigan, arrived at work, he discovered that someone had broken into the store. Surveillance footage showed that around 2:00 a.m. the day before, a burglar had thrown a rock through his store window, apparently tempted by the “gold” bars stacked in the window. The not too bright thief failed to realize that the bars are promotional items made of…

James L. McClinton, Ph.D. So, where does a thief work after he gets “canned”?… The sheriff of Bay County, Florida, was on his way to lunch with his chief deputy and a major when they heard an emergency call broadcast: An armed robbery suspect was at a food store in Youngstown. The trio was closest, so they quickly responded. The suspect exited the store holding a hammer as if it was a gun, but retreated back into the store with…

James L. McClinton, Ph.D. That’s quite a “handgun” you’ve got there!… Sheriff’s deputies in Lee County, Florida, are investigating an attempted robbery of a Bonita Springs 7-Eleven store. According to police, a man entered the store with his face covered with a red shirt. The alleged robber demanded all of the cash in the register. He then brandished his weapon – his pointed finger. When the clerk refused the demand, the man ran out of the store and made his…

James L. McClinton, Ph.D. He’s an intense man with a busy schedule… Police officers were working a crash in midtown Gainesville, Florida, when a man pulled up and started honking his horn. His honking was not a gentle tap of the horn button, but a rather excessive use of the device. When police approached his vehicle, they immediately noticed the smell of marijuana wafting from the opened car window. Inside the car, they found a handgun, a loaded magazine and…

James L. McClinton, Ph.D Can you hear me now?… A 69-year-old woman in Goodyear, Arizona, finally succumbed to a frustration many wives suffer. As her husband sat on the toilet, she barged in and “shot two bullets at the wall above his head to make him listen to me,” she told Goodyear police when they were called to the scene. The woman said her husband “would have had to be ten feet tall to be hit by the bullets,” but…

James L. McClinton, Ph.D Now, there’s a harebrained idea that never really caught on!… When asked at a town meeting what his plans were for drug enforcement, a candidate for mayor of Phoenixville, Pennsylvania (population under 17,000), replied he would have the police department deploy drug sniffing bunnies. Yes, really, rabbits – they’re much cheaper to maintain than trained dogs. “I was dead serious,” he said later. “I would not make a joke about a rabbit if I did not…

James L. McClinton, Ph.D I just learned where Grandpa got his lowrider golf cart… In Florida, a SWAT team from the Sumter County Sheriff’s Department raided The Villages retirement community in the sprawling complex near Ocala, uncovering what they believe is a golf cart chopshop operation, along with illegal drugs. Souped-up golf carts are a popular way to get around in the community which is home to more than 150,000 people. Windshields, seat cushions, wheels, and tires were found in…

James L. McClinton, Ph.D Now, he’s wondering if the judge is up for a spirited match of “rock, paper, scissors!”… A 39-year-old man, who was sound asleep at 6:00 a.m. behind the wheel of his car and with the motor running, was in no position to talk his way out of a DUI arrest. However, he did offer a gentle challenge to a Youngstown, Ohio, police officer. According to the police report, the man offered several times to “thumb wrestle”…

James L. McClinton, Ph.D Odds are this guy was just trying to pass the buck… In Massachusetts, a man who contested a speeding ticket in court gave the judge a unique explanation – the officer’s radar gun may have picked up a deer. The Haverhill man was clocked going 40 mph in a 30 mph zone in West Newbury and was given a $105 ticket. He appealed in court, asking the officer if he was 100% sure his radar gun…