Busted

JAMES L. MCCLINTON, PH.D. In case you were wondering what kinds of idiots want to defund the police… In Illinois, a Virgil man contacted the Kane County Sheriff’s Office to let them know that his “DEFUND THE POLICE” sign had been stolen from his front yard where it was posted. Deputies diligently applied their detective skills in locating the culprit and the stolen sign. Witnesses gave them enough clues to wrap up the case in short order and the man…

James L. McClinton, Ph.D. So, how’d you two meet? Well, we just ran into each other on the street one day… After police received a report of a stolen Toyota® Land Cruiser, they quickly spotted the vehicle as it drove through downtown Newberg, Oregon. As the 27-year-old driver fled from police in the ensuing pursuit, speeding through the city streets, the Land Cruiser plowed into a Buick Regal which was being driven by a 25-year-old Newberg woman. Investigators quickly discovered…

James L. McClinton What happened to the “no shirt, no shoes, no service” rule?… In Modesto, California, Webcam footage from a Cherokee Freight Lines tanker truck showed a vehicle pulling in front of the big rig. The driver, who had his hazard flashers on, directed the truck driver to pull over. The trucker then stopped, thinking he might have a mechanical problem. The incident then took on a bizarre twist. Wearing nothing more than his underwear, the driver of the…

James L. McClinton “How I met your father”… A young man in North Attleboro, Massachusetts, met a woman via a dating app and arranged a date. For their first encounter, he asked the fair maiden to pick him up at his parents’ house. That struck her as being a little odd, but she agreed to his request. The man then drank wine in the passenger’s seat while she drove around town. When they approached a bank, he asked her to…

James L. McClinton, Ph.D Almost as popular as “I’ve only had two beers”… In Ohio, the Montgomery County Sheriff’s Office issued a serious warning to residents: “Prior to wearing someone else’s pants,” it stated in a Public Service Announcement posted to Facebook, “please remove all drugs, drug paraphernalia, stolen property, or any other illegal items the ‘owner’ of the pants may have left behind.” That’s because, they continued, “ ‘these are not my pants’ is not an affirmative defense” to…

James L. McClinton, Ph.D. Maybe he should change his phone number to 867-5309… In California, a man came up with a brilliant idea to hide his car from license plate readers and ticketing systems: registering the vanity license plate “NULL.” He hoped his NULL license plates would make it impossible for cops to give him a ticket, since they wouldn’t be able to enter the ticket into their system. His plan worked all too well. It caused a citation processing…

James L. McClinton, Ph.D. “Dude, you can’t outrun the Batmobile”… A man in Burtonsville, Maryland, drives a highly recognized vehicle: a custom-built 1966 replica of the Batmobile, complete with rocket launchers, jet flames and a bat phone. When a hit-and-run driver smashed into his prized car on Route 28, he wasn’t about to let the driver make a getaway. “I don’t know what the guy was thinking,” he told a TV reporter. “He must have been going about 60…and just…

James L. McClinton, Ph.D Not quite Ocean’s Eleven material… Video captured three masked men as they tried to steal an ATM from a convenience store in Silver Spring, Maryland. They used their pickup to smash through the front windows of the store, exited the vehicle, and entered the store with a hand truck. The leader of the pack then punched one of his colleagues in the arm for failing to do his part. In the meantime, the getaway driver got…

James L. McClinton, Ph.D Road hog?… In Minnesota, a driver who was pulled over for having trouble staying in his lane turned out to be operating the vehicle with a 250 pound pig on his lap. He also had a smaller pig with him. The man’s erratic driving was apparently caused by the larger pig leaning against the steering wheel. A spokesman told reporters that the man had his pigs on his lap because he was moving to another part…

James L. McClinton, Ph.D I wonder if “foreign passports” are also required for residents of New England?… A District of Columbia Marriage Bureau clerk and her supervisor refused to accept a New Mexico man’s state driver’s license when he tried to obtain a marriage license because they both believed that New Mexico is a foreign country. After approaching the clerk for a license and showing his New Mexico ID, the clerk told him he needed an international passport to get…