JAMES L. MCCLINTON, PH.D. What do you call a moron who’s had too much to drink? A cab… The Oklahoma Highway Patrol said a person called in a report, saying that “there appears to be a man on the back of this truck.” It all started in Wichita when investigators say a 30-year-old man hopped on the back rail of a semitruck as it was leaving a shipping yard. He held on for 130 miles – nearly two hours –…
James L. McClinton, Ph. D. He needs to rethink his mass marketing strategy… An 18-year-old suspected drug dealer in Florida was arrested after asking a county commissioner if he wanted to buy cocaine in a “random text message.” The Flagler County Commissioner alerted the sheriff’s office that he received a text from someone offering to sell him an “eight ball” of cocaine. Detectives took screenshots of the text conversation between him and the suspect, then traced his number. The Commissioner…
James L. McClinton, Ph.D. Milk it for all it’s worth… Florida’s Okeechobee County Sheriff’s Office recently executed a search warrant and raided a drug house. The raid proved to be a successful one and the deputies ended up making ten arrests. One of those who was arrested stood out from the others. He was dressed so surprisingly that a deputy stood him handcuffed on the front lawn and took a full-length photo. The man was wearing a one-piece cow suit…
James L. McClinton, Ph.D. This sounds “hisssssterical”… A 54-year-old woman from Vero Beach, Florida, was arrested after crashing into multiple vehicles and throwing a fake rubber snake at deputies. Investigators say the chase began when the suspect intentionally hit one of the Martin County Sheriff’s Office vehicles as she tried to evade a traffic stop. She led deputies on a 100 mph chase, hitting another patrol car and a civilian truck, injuring the three people inside. When deputies approached the…
JAMES L. MCCLINTON, PH.D. Who needs K-9s?… Thanks to the services of a local goat, the Henry County (Virginia) Sheriff’s Office got their man. A captain with the Henry County Sheriff’s Office said it was a goat who helped two deputies flush out the person they were chasing. One deputy was investigating a domestic assault in the Fieldale area. When the deputy explained to the suspect that he was under arrest, the suspect fled on foot. The deputy chased the…
James L. McClinton, Ph.D. It was an emotional support doll… A general superintendent for the MTA in New York City was caught keeping a blow up doll in the front seat of his car. He swears it’s to keep him company, but many believe it’s to get around HOV traffic laws. The official pulled up to the office with an interesting passenger beside him. People immediately questioned why a blow up doll wearing a suit was in the car. When…
JAMES L. MCCLINTON, PH.D. Was it the little chocolates they left on his pillow every day?… A tenured 70-year-old Alabama sheriff who was removed from office after being convicted of theft and ethics violations gave the Limestone County Jail five-star reviews after spending more than two weeks in custody. This is not surprising since he ran the jail for decades. He maintained his innocence, but had no complaints about doing time in the jail in Athens. “Best jail in the…
JAMES L. MCCLINTON, PH.D. And what happens when they stop getting paid?… A new program intended to alleviate rising gun violence in the city of San Francisco will pay people who are at high risk of shooting someone not to pull the trigger. The Dream Keeper Fellowship will pay ten individuals $300 each month to not be involved in shootings, said the executive director of the Human Rights Commission. She explained that the program is not “transactional,” but will rather…
James L. McClinton, Ph.D. He also uses that array to stay in touch with the mother ship… A California Highway Patrol officer pulled over a vehicle which had a 19 inch satellite dish bolted to the car’s hood. The dish appeared to be an antenna from the Starlink Satellite Internet Service. The officer said to the driver, “Sir, I stopped you today for that visual obstruction on your hood. Does it not block your view while driving?” The driver reportedly…
Real Stories of Genuine Absurdity James L. McClinton, Ph.D. What happened to cakes with a secret color inside?… A New Hampshire man has turned himself in to police after detonating 80 pounds of explosives as part of a gender reveal party held in a quarry. The explosion reportedly set off earthquakes in the area and the blast could be heard from across the state line. Police in Kingston (near the Massachusetts border) received reports of a loud explosion and responded…