JAMES L. MCCLINTON, PH.D.
Robotaxis are evolving into RoboCops… A self-driving Waymo taxi reported two teens to the police in San Mateo, California, after they were found drinking alcohol and shooting toy guns in the back of the vehicle. The San Mateo Police Department detained two 15-year-olds after the Waymo they were riding in contacted the department and stopped in a parking lot until law enforcement arrived. Officers removed both teens from the vehicle and determined they were using toy guns to shoot Orbeez water beads (similar to the BBs) at objects from inside the vehicle. A video posted on social media shows at least five officers and a police dog responding to the scene and approaching the Waymo with their weapons raised. Waymo vehicles have internal cameras and microphones. (They got Waymo than they bargained for…)
“Holy guacamole, Batman!”… A Mexican vigilante, who locals call “Batman,” is being hunted by police after he allegedly chased down suspected thieves and taped them to lampposts. At least five men were found taped and unable to move from lampposts over ten days in the area of Lagos de Moreno in Jalisco in western Mexico. Many of them had “ratero,” the Spanish word for “thief,” scribbled on their faces by the anonymous crime hunter. Some of them also appeared to have been beaten up, with bloody faces and visible cuts. The men were eventually cut free and released by local emergency services. Local police confirmed they are now in search of a suspect after they had recorded five such incidents. A Jalisco prosecutor said they are investigating alleged thefts by the men, but that “at this moment they are victims” because they had been unlawfully assaulted and restrained. (The Tape Crusader strikes again!)
Talk about junk in your trunk… A 30-year-old Florida woman who denied ownership of the bag of cocaine which fell from her buttocks while being booked denied it was hers and told jailers that the drug must have been placed there during an “intimate encounter.” According to an arrest report, a car she was driving was spotted veering across a highway. Upon being pulled over, she refused to exit her Nissan Altima which smelled of “burnt marijuana.” Officers say she was “slow and lethargic” and was pulled from the vehicle after she refused to remove her seat belt and tried to lock the car. During the jail intake process, she passed through an X-ray scanner which is used to spot contraband. When jailers detected an anomaly in her “lower region,” she was brought to a room where she was subsequently seen “trying to cover her buttocks area with her hand.” Upon moving her hand, a baggie containing 3.8 grams of cocaine fell from her butt. With the coke at her feet, she denied knowing anything about the drug. She speculated that somebody must have placed the narcotics inside her during a sexual encounter. (I’m sure that story has worked before.)
That must be a great neighborhood… A 29-year-old Odenton, Maryland, man managed to have his own car stolen while he was busy allegedly burglarizing a business across the street. Police were responding to a stolen vehicle report when a burglary was reported just minutes later at a Verizon store. Officers began to connect the dots after noticing blood on the store’s window, as well as blood on the glasses of the man who reported his vehicle was stolen. When asked to show his hands, officers discovered blood on his hand and shirt and placed him in handcuffs. Bodycam footage posted by the department shows the man repeatedly denying being at the Verizon store, while surveillance footage allegedly shows him burglarizing it. Police have yet to release details about the suspect who stole the alleged burglar’s vehicle. (The irony would be if he wound up in the same cell as the person who stole his truck!)
I just play one on TV… A 30-year-old Palm Bay, Florida, man was arrested for obstruction and practicing law without a license. Officers in Brevard County pulled over a woman during a traffic stop and discovered a controlled substance in her car. The woman immediately lawyered up and called a friend of a friend who claimed to have all the right credentials for practicing law. The friend of a friend soon showed up at the scene in a suit and tie, claiming to be certified to practice law in both Georgia and Florida. The “practitioner” then set about trying to negotiate a deal for his “client.” But, when officers insisted that he produce said credentials, he was unable to do so. Further investigation revealed that man was, in fact, not a lawyer and he was placed under arrest. (In all fairness, he DID stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.)
Th-Th-That’s All Folks!… A 43-year-old man whose actual name is Loony Toon was sentenced to prison after leading a police chase and shooting at Oregon police officers. Mr. Toon pleaded guilty to several felony charges stemming from a traffic stop and was sentenced to 20 years in prison. The Milwaukee police had stopped his vehicle just before 3:00 a.m. and found Toon and a female passenger inside. After discovering Toon had an outstanding felony warrant, another officer responded, placing spike strips under the back tires to prevent his escape. Police said he then reversed the car, backed into a police vehicle, ran over the spike strips, and sped away along Highway 224. During the police chase, Toon fired a pistol out of the window in the direction of Milwaukee police officers following behind. His criminal history involves 25 criminal convictions, including 16 felonies. (His brother, Spit, chews tobacco.)