James L. McClinton, Ph.D.
Dress for the job you want?… An 18-year-old Florida man was arrested on a DUI charge after failing a sobriety test – while dressed up as a prison inmate for a Halloween party. He was cruising through Port St. Lucie, Florida, on October 31 when officers with the local police department pulled him over shortly before 6:00 a.m. The officers had him complete a sobriety test in a nearby parking lot, but struggled to look past the irony when he exited his vehicle wearing a bright orange jumpsuit and a white tank top. They had him walk along a parking spot line to test if he had been drinking that night, as seen in a Port St. Lucie Police Department video. The 18-year-old man was taken into police custody and remanded on a standard DUI charge, plus an extra one for refusal to submit to DUI testing, according to the St. Lucie County Sheriff’s Office. (On a positive note, he didn’t have to change his clothes.)
At least he didn’t pretend to be a pilot… A 35-year-old Florida man who posed as a flight attendant for four different airlines booked 120 free flights over a six year period. The United States attorney for the Southern District of Florida says the man pretended to be a flight attendant for multiple airlines between 2018 and 2024, accessing the carriers’ websites intended for flight crews to book free flights using their employee benefits. He was convicted of wire fraud and entering into a secure area of an airport by false pretenses. Some of the airlines named in court documents are Southwest Airlines®, American Airlines and Delta Air Lines. The man flew 34 flights on one airline by pretending to be a flight attendant or staff member by using 30 different badge numbers and dates of hire to book his no cost flights. He also claimed to be a flight attendant with three other airlines to book more flights. He is awaiting sentencing. (Why would anyone want to fly 120 times these days if they didn’t HAVE to?)
If you’re paying for the service, you may as well use it… A 45-year-old woman was arrested and accused of leading police on a high-speed chase on I-70 and then calling for roadside assistance after officers spiked her tire. She was booked into the Emery County Jail for investigation of reckless driving and failing to stop for police. She was initially spotted by a Utah Highway Patrol trooper on I-70 going 120 mph. “I reached a speed of 130 mph in an attempt to catch the vehicle,” the trooper wrote in the affidavit. By the time he caught up with the vehicle, the woman was going 95 mph. But, as soon as the trooper got behind her with his flashing lights and siren, she accelerated to between 120 mph and 130 mph. Troopers attempted twice to spike the woman’s tires, succeeding on the second try. A high-risk stop was executed with multiple troopers. The driver refused to exit the vehicle or roll down the window. Soon after the standoff began, police say she “called AAA to get her tire fixed.” The roadside assistance company transferred the call to a trooper at the scene. He was able to convince her to exit the vehicle. She was arrested and transported to the Emery County Jail. (Based on my experience with AAA, she’ll be out of jail before they arrive.)
Clean up on aisle seven!… Four people are facing charges in Louisiana for horsing around in a local Walmart®. Posted video showed three men and a teenage boy riding horses through the superstore in Baker, Louisiana. A video taken by a Walmart employee showed them entering the store, hanging around the self-checkout area, and then heading toward the back of the store. One rider could be seen holding his phone up filming their escapade. The four riders ultimately turned themselves in to the Baker Police Department. All are facing charges for entering and remaining after forbidden, unlawful post of criminal activity and disturbing the peace. (They should install hitching posts out front so they don’t bring them inside.)
Okay, Michael, it’s time to just “Beat It”… When police recently responded to a call from a home in Crawford County, Kansas, they found a red pickup truck which had been stolen earlier in the week. Officers were told that the truck had pulled into the property and the driver had asked the resident for gasoline and to “not call the cops.” So, they called the cops. The driver was a man named Michael Jackson – “and not the one who sang ‘Billie Jean,’” they said. He was arrested for possessing stolen property. (The incident was not exactly a “Thriller.”)
Police declined to call her a hardened criminal… Three police officers in Fairhope, Alabama, took down and arrested a 61-year-old woman at the local No Kings protest for wearing a giant penis costume. Fairhope police said they responded to a complaint about her costume, stating that they “observed an individual in a phallic costume near the Baldwin Square Shopping Center.” They approached her and told her to take the costume off because it was “deemed obscene in a public setting.” When she refused, she was tackled to the ground and charged with disorderly conduct and resisting arrest. Baldwin County, which was involved in organizing the local No Kings protest, condemned the arrest. The woman was given a court date. (So much for rising to the occasion)
Life is a beach and then you dive… Just after midnight, a man swam up to the Paddlefish restaurant (a replica steamboat) in Disney Springs, Florida, removed his wet suit and scuba gear and robbed the restaurant. Deputies with the Orange County Sheriff’s Office said the thief allegedly walked into the manager’s office where the night’s take was being counted and ordered two employees to stand in the corner and close their eyes. He tied them up, then scooped up tens of thousands of dollars and left, putting his gear back on and swimming into the night. The sheriff’s office said the investigation is ongoing. (He wasn’t koi about being so shellfish.)