James L. McClinton
Would you like fries with that?… A Canadian man recently opened “The Drugs Store,” a mobile shop, in Vancouver. The man, who sold heroin, meth, cocaine, and ecstasy, was arrested for drug trafficking less than 24 hours after launching the business. He said he wanted to give people a safe supply of drugs which have been tested to ensure they didn’t contain fentanyl. Police said they started gathering evidence “after the suspect started selling cocaine, crack, methamphetamine, and heroin out of the mobile trailer.” The “store” had bright yellow sandwich boards featuring a price list for all the drugs which ranged from $10 for a point (one tenth of a gram) of meth to $250 for 2.5 grams of crack. (Yes, but are these products gluten-free?)
Is this the new kids meal?… A routine traffic stop in Picayune, Mississippi, led to a surprising discovery for a local police officer. Officers had stopped a vehicle for a traffic violation. During the traffic stop, the passenger hid a handgun inside of a folded quesadilla in a Taco Bell® bag. Officers then carried out a search of the vehicle and found a distribution amount of methamphetamine, liquid heroin and drug paraphernalia. The passenger was taken into custody and charged with numerous narcotics and firearms charges. (Try the new fully loaded quesadilla!)
This should be a tactic taught at every police academy… A Stafford County deputy traded a 7-Eleven Slurpee® for information which helped resolve a case involving packages which were stolen from the porches of several Virginia homes. Video from one of the residents showed a juvenile suspect wearing a hood and distinctive shoes. The deputy then stopped at a nearby playground where he was able to speak with children who helped identify two suspects – after the promise of a Slurpee. The deputy located the suspects, both juveniles, at their home. Both confessed and led the deputy to the stolen items. The deputy delivered the Slurpees and some candy for the other children on the playground. Police say the case was handled informally without any charges. (A $10,000 reward offered for tips which led to an arrest? Not in this neighborhood…)
Now, he’s a candidate for the Witless Protection Program… A man in Redwood City, California, was observed scrambling over two fences and then climbing through a second floor door. So, what’s unusual about that? The fact that the building he entered was the Maple Street Correctional Center. Yes, you read correctly – he was breaking INTO the jail. When officers found the man, he was relaxing in a lobby area inside the building usually reserved for inmates. He explained to jail officials that he was fleeing a man with a gun. He was found to be in possession of stolen credit cards and appeared to be under the influence of meth and alcohol. He was arrested and charged with misdemeanor breaking and entering. (Hey, there’s always room for one more!)
I’d hate to be behind them at the Coinstar® machine… Philadelphia police are looking for a group of six suspects who are responsible for breaking into a tractor-trailer and stealing $200,000 worth of dimes. The dime-laden tractor-trailer was parked in a Walmart parking lot with about $750,000 worth of dimes packed inside. When officers first arrived at the scene, dimes were found scattered from the Walmart parking lot to a nearby road. The truck driver picked up the dimes from the Philadelphia Mint on Wednesday, but then went home to get some sleep before a long drive to Florida. The truck driver parked the big rig in the Walmart parking lot and, when he came back the next morning, he found the trailer door was open. “They were trying to cross-load the dimes into other things. There are dimes all over the parking lot.” The investigation is ongoing. (Everyone in Philly knows that you can’t leave change in your parked car!)
Game over!… A major league drug dealer, who had set up his headquarters in Novi, Michigan, ran an organization which distributed fentanyl, heroin and cocaine across the US, as well as a large-scale money laundering operation. So, what was his downfall? The man had shipped heroin to a customer in a Sony PlayStation® box. When the recipient of the package was busted by the police, an enterprising officer decided to scan the UPC code on the box and, sure enough, he discovered that the drug dealer had registered the PlayStation. Police traced it to his stash house where the game was set up and in operation when they raided the place. (The warranty period will likely end before his jail term does.)
“Eh, what’s up, Doc?”… A mall security guard in Pennsylvania got dragged by a fleeing pickup as he tried to apprehend the thief of a giant foam carrot. Police say that the suspect ran after stealing the carrot from the Easter display at the Clearview Mall. Pennsylvania State Police troopers responded to the mall after the security guard stated that he had chased the suspect into the parking lot. When the security guard tried to open the door of the suspects’ truck, he was dragged for about a quarter of a mile at speeds of up to 35 mph. Police eventually tracked down the stolen item at a home in Chicora, Pennsylvania. Officials say that two males, aged 20 and 18, confessed to taking the carrot. (The security guard cared too much and the perpetrators didn’t carrot all.)
He should have offered to give the deputy Boardwalk or Park Place to look the other way… During a traffic stop in Chisago County, Minnesota, a driver surprised law enforcement by presenting the officer with a “Get Out of Jail Free” card from the board game Monopoly. The Chisago County Sheriff’s Office posted on social media about the unusual encounter a deputy had on a Friday night. “Last night, a deputy did a traffic stop and the driver handed him this card, along with his driver’s license,” the sheriff’s office said. “Unfortunately, the state of Minnesota does not recognize this as a valid document.” The sheriff’s office did not say why the driver was pulled over or whether or not he was given a citation, but did say that he got “points for the effort and humor.” (I wonder if he’ll try to pay the ticket with Monopoly money!)
